When Breath Becomes Air

The first book I finished (I say finished because I started it before New Years) was, "When Breath Becomes Air," by Paul Kalanithi. Let me start off by saying I typically don't enjoy memoirs but as a nurse working in the medical field I thought this would be something I could get into. I was right! I did enjoy  this book very much even though at times I would find myself lost in certain aspects Paul's thinking.

Let me start off by saying what a beautiful mind this man had. I mean you would have to be amazingly intellectual to become a neurosurgeon for one. However, his journey takes us through getting a BA and MA in English Literature (yes! He was a fellow bookworm), from Stanford University and a BA in human biology. He also earned his MPhil in history and philosophy of science and medicine (this is where sometimes I am not ashamed to admit he lost me) from the University of Cambridge. If that wasn't enough he also graduated cum laude from Yale School of Medicine. From there he returned to Stanford to complete his residency training in neurological surgery and fellowship in neuroscience. That right there is impressive enough!!

We meet thiurty-six year old Paul when he and his wife are told that he has stage IV lung cancer. He was in his last year of residency with his whole career in front of him. To see your own CT scans and know you are looking at potential death in the face has to be so difficult. It's one thing to be the doctor giving the bad news but to be the patient on the other end?

So what does he do? First he takes us on a journey through medical school and his early residency years. This is where I couldn't put this book down. From cutting into cadavers and going through different rotations I was glued to the page. I really felt at home in the LDR and NICU portions of his writing. Other areas felt like I was in the middle of a great episode of Grey's Anatomy right there performing brain surgery. It's really mind boggling how precise one has to be for brain surgery and how 1 millimeter can change a person, I mean REALLY change a person into a completely differnet person than they were before surgery.

As we catch up to present Paul we are there for his diagnosis and treatment plans. How he couldn't let go of being the doctor at first and just be the patient. Once he did what a load of his shoulders he admitted to feeling. He didn't think he would return to surgery after being diagnosed, but he did!  Fighting cancer and continuing to heal others! Pushing his tired body and mind to finish his last year and graduate. We are there for his contemplation with his wife of should or should they not try nad have a baby knowing his diagnosis?

Paul Kalanithi died March 9, 2015 after his battle with cancer. He faced it head on and with such bravery I don't think not just anyone would have given the same fate. He started writing his memoir to help others face their death if they had to face it head on. Paul never finised his memoir. He died before it was completed. His wife Lucy finishes it with a warmest epilogue that had me crying all over the pages as I read it.

Paul is survived by his wife, Lucy, daughter Elizabeth, and large extended family. I would recommend this to anyone who wants to look into a beautiful mind and into the journey of a brave soul.

Til next time!

-Scilla Lee